Poor Daenerys (aka Dany), sold into wedlock by her brother to a beast of a man. Khal Drogo only seems to be interested in using her as a sex doll and she cannot stop him. Thankfully she has Jorah Mormont traveling with the Dothraki to talk with and start somewhat of a friendship with.
So thank the heavens we find out Bran is still alive, just in a coma. Lady Catelyn has been by his bedside day and night praying for his recovery. Even Cersei (the Queen) comes in to say she is sorry for what happens and shares a story of her dealings with loss. What sneaky, tricky woman coming to give her blessings to the boy she tried to kill. And if you haven’t started to hate Joffrey or love Tyrion yet here is more of a reason to do so. Tyrion wakes up hungover in an animal pen to see Joffrey standing over him. Tyrion tells Joffrey to give his condolences to the Starks for the incident with Bran. Joffrey talks back and the greatest moment in television history happens, Tyrion smacks Joffrey. Yes I replayed that a few times. Still can’t get enough of it! Tyrion then goes inside to see his siblings having breakfast and in his conversation with them it seems he knows more then he is letting on about what may have happened to Bran. What does he know? How does he know it? Tyrion is more clever than he seems at times.
Switching over to Jon Snow’s story line, he is determined to become a member of the Night’s Watch. He is leaving with his Uncle to go to the Wall. Snow, who seems to be a loving and kind brother, even though he is a bastard child, goes into Arya’s room while she is packing to give her a gift. The gift is a sword, which Arya names Needle as a poke to the traditional needle and thread a woman her age should have in hand. His bright and shining moment is the tip he gives her as he hugs her goodbye “Stick them with the pointy end.” Thanks dear brother. Snow then goes over to say his farewell to Bran, who is still in a coma, and Lady Catelyn seems less than pleased to see him. In fact, I think ordering him to get out was good proof of her disdain for Ned’s bastard son.
Now everyone is leaving Winterfell; a group is heading for the Wall and another back to King’s Landing. Ned and Snow share their goodbyes and the parties head off in their opposite directions. The King and Ned later are stopped to eat and again talking about the Targaryens. Robert’s hatred for them burns deep and he wants to kill Dany as a wedding gift but level-headed Ned shuts down the idea.
Later that night at Winterfell, outside Bran’s direwolf Summer is complaining and howling nonstop. A fire breaks out and Robb Stark, who is in the room with his mother leaves to go check it out. When Catelyn turns to go, an assassin comes into Bran’s room and fight breaks loose. Catelyn is knocked to the ground after trying to grab the knife WITH HER BARE HANDS and the assassin is headed for Bran. Summer comes leaping in and heads straight for the assassin’s jugular. Then after ripping out the murderer’s throat casually goes and lays down next to Bran, snout all covered in blood. No big deal. I definitely need a dire wolf, not that I’m planning on having anyone come after me in the night, still must be a nice safety net.
Back to Dany and the Dothraki. She is getting a mani-pedi from her slaves and asking about dragons and the Dothraki. After speaking with one of her hand maidends (or slaves, whatever you wish to call them) for a time, she learns this girl basically used to be a prostitute and asks if she can teach Dany how “to make the Khal happy”. And so the teaching of some girl on top action begins. Later on when the Khal returns to the tent, Dany tried out her newly found skills in the bedroom and both parties seem happy. Mission accomplished.
The King’s party is still heading to King’s Landing on the Kingsroad (say that five times fast) and Joffrey and Sansa go for a walk together. They see Arya and Mycah (the butcher’s boy) play sword fighting on the river bank. Joffrey decides to be himself and be a total jerk to Mycah and cuts his cheek with a sword. Well this doesn’t sit well with Arya who grabs a branch and hits Joffrey with it. Joffrey hits Arya bringing her to the ground and then Arya’s dire wolf Nymeria bites Joffrey’s arm and he cries like the little baby he is. Arya grabs his sword and as Joffrey squeals and begs she heaves his sword into the river. Sweet. Of course the useless Sansa does nothing but scream at Arya during this whole ordeal. Way to go sis.
Arya insists Nymeria has to run away, which is one of the saddest things I’ve seen, and she goes running into the forest. Arya is then taken in front of the King and Queen to be punished for attacking Joffrey. The Queen claims Arya and Mycah beat Joffrey with sticks and let the wolf attack him. Sansa is asked what really happened and all she can manage to see is “I don’t remember”. Like I said, useless. The end result of this is the wolf is sentenced to death, but since Nymeria has run off, Sansa’s wolf Lady is on the chopping block thanks to Queen Cersei. Ned volunteers to slay the dire wolf since it is a beast of the north and deserves a better death than any a butcher can give to her. Ugh, this breaks my heart. Stop getting rid of the wolves!
Cut to Bran, he opens his eyes! Roll credits. Roll episode 3 please.