Game of Thrones- And Now His Watch Is Ended- Season 3 Episode 4

The burning of the city

The burning of Astapor

Ohhhhh that’s her plan. Good show Dany. Poor Jamie. What is happening with Bran!

Jamie’s hand is now hanging around his neck as a harsh reminder of what his father cannot protect him from. Gross and rude. Jamie is begging for water and Locke gets him to drink horse urine. So mean. I love that I am actually now feeling bad for Jamie Lannister. What is happening to me?! Jamie grabs a sword but cannot fight left-handed and is beat to the ground and his face is pushed into the mud. Ugh, the feels! It’s a Lannister! Don’t care so much. But I do. I feel bad for the Kingslayer.

In Bran’s storyline he is still with the boy Jojen and dreaming of the three-eyed crow. Can’t wait to see this story line play out. Also took me this whole episode to remember that Jojen is the little boy from Love Actually. Awww. Adorable. But back to Westeros.

In King’s Landing Varys is meeting with Tyrion and delivers him a crate. He is telling Tyrion the story of how he became…lacking downstairs. He was drugged by a man who then cut off his manhood and burned it in a dark magic ceremony. Creepy. So Varys despises “magic and all those who practice it.” The crate is finally opened and inside it is the wizard who mutilated Varys with his mouth sewn shut.

Back to the Night’s Watch. The men hate working at Craster’s. And they should. He sucks. They need to just get out of there. Samwell is talking to Gilly and bothering her about the name of her baby. Sam is kind of annoying. I’m waiting for him to surprise us all and be a great hero.

Varys is speaking with Ros and has been informed that Littlefinger’s ship has two feather beds in it for his trip to the Eyrie. The assumption is he is trying to sneak Sansa away with him. Gross. So he can’t have the mom, go for the daughter? I guess that’s a thing in Westeros.

Ugh, more Joffrey. He is walking with Margaery telling her the history of King’s Landing in the Sept of Baelor, where their wedding is going to take place. Margaery is so gifted at playing the young king, but I guess he’s not that difficult to figure out. She convinces him to go outside and acknowledge the crowd. The crowd is shouting for Margaery but she tells him it’s really all for him so they go outside to greet the people.

Mystery boy is now leading Theon Greyjoy to his sister through some tunnels. He says Theon’s dad knew what was happening ti him this whole time. Theon is reflecting on his decisions from past episodes and then says “my real father lost his head at King’s Landing…I made a choice, and I chose wrong, and now I’ve burned everything down.” Awwww, but I still don’t like you Theon. You had a good thing going for you, I think they call this karma. The man now leads Theon back into the dungeon. Whaaaa? Other men put Theon back on the cross. What was that all about? Who is this guy?

At camp we return to Jamie Lannister. He is dying and not eating. Brienne is trying to get him to snap out of it. They fight because Brienne is calling him a wuss and to get over himself and the loss of his hand. Basically Jamie needs to man up. So he finally eats. She then asks why Jamie told that story about her family being wealthy since it isn’t true in order to save her. Why is he helping? Feelings for someone that’s not his sister? Interesting.

Cersei is now in Tywin’s office asking if he is doing everything possible to get Jamie back. He shoots her down and then gives Cersei an opportunity to prove she isn’t worthless to him. Then he delivers this beauty “I don’t distrust you because you’re a woman, I distrust you because you’re not as smart as you think”.

Lady Olenna and Varys are chatting about Littlefinger and his attachment to Sansa. They form a plan and Margaery finds Sansa to put it into action. She mentions to Sansa she likes her very much and would love to become sisters with her. The best way to that? Why marry her brother Loras of course and then they can be sisters. Oh Sansa, what will we do with you. She is so happy about it and can’t wait to marry Sir Loras. Oh boy.

At Craster’s again the Night’s Watch are burning a corpse of one of the men who didn’t get enough food. Craster tells the Lord Commander to kill all the wounded men and it makes the men rightfully angry. Craster is awful. The men start arguing with Craster and then things go crazy. Craster is killed (WOOO!! Finally!) but so is the Lord Commander. Sam grabs Gilly and they get out of there as fast as tubby Sam can go.

Arya! She is still with the Brotherhood without Banners in their hideout and their prisoner, The Hound. The leader of the crew is Beric Dondarrion who is looking for The Mountain (The Hound’s brother. Solid nicknames guys). Beric is also a fan of the Lord of the Light just like that red head, Melisandre. Arya tells them The Hound murdered the butcher’s boy and so The Hound will go to trial by combat.

Dany is still in Astapor. Remember, she traded one of her dragons for those slave soldiers? Let’s watch that play out. Dany is in the center of the square with all of her Unsullied, slave masters, and Kraznys waiting around. Kraznys is talking but Dany isn’t really listening. She opens a basket and one of her dragons is on a chain leash which Kraznys takes from her in exchange for the whip that gives her control of the slaves. She asks if the deal is done and Kraznys insults her in Valyrian. She walks down the steps and overhead the dragon is screeching. Dany then looks to her Unsullied and starts to speak to them…in Valyrian. Ohhh what?! Dany orders the Unsullied to do certain things and then the magic happens. Dany turns and starts berating Kraznys in Valyrian. She then tells the Unsullied to kill all slave masters but not harm any of the children. Kraznys is outraged and tells the guards to kill Dany and then you know what happens? DANY HAS THE DRAGON SET KRAZNYS ON FIRE! The city is now burning and Dany turns to the Unsullied and tell them they are free men now. They can join her if they want, but they will never be slaves again. They all follow her as she marches triumphantly away from the burning city. Hell yeah.

Game of Thrones- Walk of Punishment – Season 3 Episode 3

Jamie Lannister

 

Holy cow what just happened in this episode? Did anyone see that coming?! The whole episode, while it was a good one, was a lot of building again, much like the first episode, and then WHAM! Hello ending. And that’s really how it ended. When the song started and the credits rolled was anyone else going “whaaaaaa?!”. Poor Jamie. What a ride he went through.

But let’s start at the beginning. We are at Riverrun for the funeral of Lady Catelyn’s father. They send his body off in a boat and then try to light it on fire by shooting an arrow at the boat. Edmure, Catelyn’s brother, misses three times. Guess it would be too easy to light the fire before pushing the boat from shore? Clearly that’s not the Tully way. Instead let’s embarrass old Edmure until Uncle Brynden saves the day and fires the shot. He doesn’t even have to look to know it’s landing in the boat. Bad-Ass Blackfish man. Later Edmure suffers further embarrassment, this time at the hand of Robb, who is scolding him for not obeying orders. His attack on “The Mountain” left over 200 northerners dead and Robb’s plan for beating the Lannisters in shambles.

In King’s Landing, the Hand of the King, Tywin wastes no time exerting his dominance over everyone else. He has clearly called a meeting and every chair is lined up on the left side of the table except his own, which is at the head. The three henchmen, Varys, Littlefinger, and Pycelle take their seats at the left side. Cersei is not having it. She picks up a chair and brings it to the right side of the table next to her father. What an attitude. This next part is why I love Tyrion. He grabs the remaining chair on the left and drags it (yes, the chair is much larger than the dwarf), squeaky awkward sounds and all (to which it seems Tyrion thoroughly enjoyed this part), to the opposite head of the table directly across from his father. Boom, equals. Now to get down to business. Littlefinger wants to wed Catelyn’s sister Lysa in order to steal more support away from the Starks and gain more titles for himself as Lord of the Vale. Tyrion points out that Littlefinger cannot go because he is in charge of the crown’s finances and needs to be around Kingslanding to handle such matters. Tywin instead passes the job of Master of Coin to Tyrion in the most smug way possible and Cersei couldn’t be more happy.

Jamie Lannister and Brienne are now tied up and traveling with their captors. Jamie is still sulking over the fact he was beat by Brienne in their sword battle last episode. Their banter is funny and almost charming, maybe they could be friends if there wasn’t all this murder and threat of death and rape in the way. It even seems like he is looking out for her in a way when he informs her she is going to be raped by these men and she should just close her eyes and “pretend they’re Renly” to avoid being beaten to death.

Arya and her merrymen are now the “guests” of Thoros. The Hound, on the other hand, seems to be his prisoner. As they are leaving whatever tavern they were at Hot Pie declares he is staying and gives Arya some bread he made in the shape of a wolf. How sweet.

Back on the other side of the Wall, Mance orders the Wildlings and Jon Snow to climb over the Wall and attack Castle Black. This order, is of course after finding the mangled remains of some horses once owned by the Night’s Watch. What will Snow do? How are they so easily going to climb this giant wall?

Oh remember Theon Greyjoy getting tortured? Well the mysterious boy comes back and frees him, telling him to ride east because his sister is waiting for him. Well on Theon’s ride, his once captors chase him down and knock him off his horse. It looks like he is going to be taken in the most unpleasant of ways when all of the sudden the boy comes back, shoots an arrow through each of the men about to rape Theon and save him yet again. Who is this guy?

In Dragonstone Melisandre is leaving Stannis. He is not happy and wants to have another weird smoky demon baby with her but she says he is not strong enough and trying again will kill him. She then tells him there is another way to get the blood of the true king to have another child. How is this happening? Who knows, but Stannis does not look pleased.

Dany is still in Astapor considering buying the slave army. She decides to buy all 8,000 slave men for her army. The slave master scoffs at her and says she does not have the money to buy all of them. Of course his translator is much nicer than him when informing Dany of her inadequate funds. Then the unthinkable. Dany offers a dragon in exchange for all the men and the female translator. She only has 3 and she’s now giving them away?! Her advisors think this is ridiculous and tell her it’s a bad idea. She looks at them and continues with the deal. Apparently she knows what she’s doing. I’m glad someone does.

Back at King’s Landing Tyrion is collecting the financial ledgers from Littlefinger, which were of course hidden in the brothel. Then as a thank you gift for saving his life, Tyrion buys 3 of the prostitutes for his squire Poderick. Later on Poderick returns with the money Tyrion spent on the whores saying they had such a good time with him they refused to take his money. Tyrion and Bronn are flabbergasted and want all the details. Gross.

Again back to Jamie and Brienne. She did not take Jamie’s advice when it came to the men taking advantage of her because she has decided to fight back. Jamie, in an attempt to save her, let’s the captors know she is from the Sapphire Isle, and her father would pay more than his weight in sapphires if Brienne were to be returned to him unsullied. It apparently works and Brienne is released and tied back up against the tree but not getting raped so that’s a plus. Jamie continues trying to play Locke, the leader of these men, and get Locke to release him as well by saying his father will pay in gold for his return as well. He then asks to be taken down from the tree as he wants to lie on his back to sleep instead of in the uncomfortable position he is in now. Locke releases him from the tree and even asks if he would like something better for dinner. he throws Jamie down on a table and says “you’re nothing without your daddy and your daddy ain’t here” and brings the knife down on the table. Jamie screams. HE JUST CHOPPED OFF JAMIE LANNISTER’S HAND!!!! That just happened. Then the credits roll. WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED?!

See you next week GoT. Wow.