Game of Thrones- The Rains of Castamere- Season 3 Episode 9

Lady Catelyn is the picture of a destroyed and beaten woman

Lady Catelyn is the picture of a destroyed and beaten woman

Too many feels! Still crying as Robb embraces his Talisa for the last time.

Too many feels! Still crying as Robb embraces his Talisa for the last time.

How much did your heart break last night? Did the tears just flow? The moment GoT readers have been dreading finally hit us last night…The Red Wedding. Too much emotion is flowing through me right now. I’m lost and hurt. George R. R. Martin and Steven Moffat do have this in common. They enjoy taking everyone viewers love and cherish and destroying them. Yet we keep watching and reading because they do it so well. Ugh it hurts.

The episode begins with Robb Stark going over strategy with his mother. He’s decided the only way they have a chance of winning is with the help of Walder Frey, the man Robb crossed when he married Talisa instead of one of Frey’s daughters. But Robb wants to attack Casterly Rock and this is the only way. Lady Catelyn ends the scene with the words “show them how it feels to lose what they love.” The statement hits you right in the gut as we think about what’s coming. Ouch.

At the house of Lord Walder Frey, Robb is asking forgiveness for breaking his promise. Frey shows all million of his daughters and said Robb could have had any one he wished and basically dismisses Robb’s words. Frey is angry that he has brought Talisa along although he mentions he would have broken oath to get with her hot body as well. Gross. But then Frey says they will put the incident behind them and move on. Problem solved?

At Dany’s camp Daario is showing her how to get into the city to open the gates for her armies. Daario is clearly smitten and boy does it get on Jorah’s nerves. Daario says he will take 3 men and fight the guards and then open the front gates for everyone else. The leader of the Unsullied trusts him so Dany is ready to sack the city tonight.

North of the Wall Sam and Gilly are together and he tells her of a secret entry through the wall. Apparently this secret entrance no one knows about except Sam since he reads books. She calls him a wizard for knowing everything by “staring at marks on paper”. Awww how cute.

The Hound still has Arya and they come upon a man and his wagon. The Hound helps him fix the wheel and then knocks him out. He goes to kill him but Arya refuses to let him slaughter the random man. The relationship between Arya and the Hound is amusing and odd. The Hound says she is very kind and will one day be killed because of it. The old man starts to rise and she knocks him out again with a stick.

Bran and his crew are still traveling and come upon a tower. They rest there to get shelter from the coming storm. Nearby Jon Snow and the Wildlings have found a man that provides horses for the men of the Night’s Watch. The Wildlings want to kill the horse breeder and take the horses. Jon Snow wants to let him live. He is ignored and the Wildlings rush the farm. But Jon Snow smacks his sword on a rock to alert the man giving him just enough time to get away. He even stops Ygritte from shooting him through the back with an arrow.

Back to Arya and the Hound. He is eating some of the pig on the wagon. They start talking about fear. He says Arya is afraid that she is so close to her family that she might miss her chance to be reunited once again. She retorts with the fact she knows he is afraid of fire. He brings up the death of her father and Arya turns lets him know one day she will be the one to kill the Hound.

The storm has started and  the thunder scares Hodor. He is going crazy making too much noise. Jon and the Wildlings have arrived at the tower. They are so close! But they don’t know Jon is with the Wildlings so they are afraid. Hodor is making more and more noise so Bran gets him to calm down by going all psychic and getting into his mind. What is his power?

The Wildlings caught up to the horse breeder and tell Jon Snow to kill him. Jon can’t do it so Ygritte does it for him. They start to attack Jon and he pushes Ygritte out of the way. In the tower Jojen tells Bran to set the direwolves on the Wildlings so they don’t find them hiding. The direwolves end up saving Jon and then stabs Orell and says “you were right the whole time”. Orell uses his warg powers to have an eagle attack Jon Snow but he manages to fend it off, he gets on a horse and runs off leaving Ygritte in the dust. She knows nothing now.

Bran and his people are talking in the tower now about his new-found ability to control people’s minds as well as animals. He then tells Osha that she needs to take Rickon to a Stark bannerman while Bran and the others continue to go north of the Wall. More Starks splitting up. No one wants this family to be together!

In Yunkai Daario is sneaking through the gate and tells Jorah he is the greatest whistler in the world so he will be able to hear the signal. He kills the guards but more keep coming. It’s Daario, Grey Worm, and Jorah against a bunch of guys and they are killing it. Dany is getting worried but suddenly Jorah shows up covered in blood and she asks about Daario. He comes in, kneels at her feet and proclaims the city is now hers.

It’s finally time for the wedding at The Twins. Edmure’s bride to be is actually quite pretty and he is pleased. The wedding takes place and it’s time for the feast. Everyone is merry and drinking and Frey announces that it is now time for the bedding to take place. During the festivities Robb asks Talisa if she knows if her baby is a boy or a girl. She doesn’t know (obviously) but says if it’s a boy she will name him Eddard. Stop right now and begin crying. Catelyn sees this and actually seems happy for them. Continue tears.

A man closes the giant doors to the party and it seems ominous. Lady Catelyn is starting to get concerned and then the band starts playing the Lannister’s song, The Rains of Castamere. Sensing something is wrong (seriously I need to get me a direwolf) Robb’s wolf is starting to whine but is trapped in a cage. Arya and the Hound finally arrive but are told the party is over and watch as soldiers run into the castle. Things are not looking good. Keep breathing. The music has stopped and Frey starts speaking with Robb. Catelyn shoots a glance at Roose Bolton and the looks exchanged are not good. She pulls his sleeve back and sees he is wearing chain mail. Catelyn screams and all hell breaks loose.

A man runs to Talisa and stabs her way more than necessary right in her stomach leading us to have to say goodbye to Ned Stark again! Tears are flowing now in between horrified gasps. Robb is standing frozen and can’t understand what just happens. Arrows start flying and Robb is hit twice. Around him his drunken men are being slaughtered. Frey is enjoying every minute of the slaughter like the sick perverted man he is. It’s disgusting.

Arya can see Robb’s soldiers being killed and watches as more of Frey’s men kill the the direwolf. Noooooooooooo!! Still crying and watching the terror unfold. The Hound says to Arya “it’s too late” and knocks her unconscious and takes her away. This essentially saves her life. But inside no one is being saved.

Robb crawls to Talisa and just holds her as her blood surrounds him. THIS IS UNFAIR. Lady Catelyn grabs Frey’s wife who was hiding under a table and screams at Frey to let Robb go or she will kill his wife. I am not sure how Lady Catelyn is still sane at this point but she is screaming and begging Robb to run away and try to escape this madness. She is losing everyone. She lost her husband, she still thinks her two youngest are dead, her girls are lost, so she cannot lose Robb too. The emotion in her voice and face is raw and unrelenting. Every part of you aches for this mother watching her son being murdered. Again she screams that she will kill this woman. Frey looks at her with so much malice and just says “I’ll find another”.

Robb looks up at Catelyn all big eyed and hurt. AHH my heart can’t take it. He says “mother…” and is stopped short as Bolton comes up to him and stabs him in the stomach giving the last needed push towards death and says “the Lannisters send their regards”.

Catelyn watches Robb fall then slits the girls throat. Then someone comes up and slits her throat which almost seems merciful at this point since she has lost everything. It burns. I can no longer see through my furious and broken tears. The scene unfolds so fast and yet it is still so powerful and heart wrenching.

Silent credits roll. Boom. How can anyone go on? More tears. Silence. Black.

Game of Thrones- The Bear and the Maiden Fair- Season 3 Episode 7

Brienne and the Bear

Oh the love between Brienne and Jamie is so endearing now. It’s like Jamie actually has a heart. I love it. GoT does so well to give so many sides to a character that you can feel hatred and likability at the same time. Nice work.

So back to the beginning of the show. Robb and crew are on the way to the Frey’s home for his uncle’s wedding but the weather is slowing them down. After the talk everyone leaves the tent and Robb and Talisa have the classiest bang session I’ve seen on the show thus far. That’s real love people. Then Talisa confesses she is pregnant! Here comes a little prince or princess.

Just south of the Wall Ygritte and Jon are walking together and Ygritte sees a windmill. You would think she just discovered aliens or her first double stuf oreo. She goes absolutely mental seeing this glorious building. Jon pokes fun at her but it doesn’t work out that well since she doesn’t know what “swooning” or “fainting” mean. So the statement loses its punch when you have to explain each word. The Wildlings comment on this new relationship and Orell is very bitter about it. Later Jon confronts Ygritte and tells her the Wildlings won’t win in a battle against the Night’s Watch. Ygritte basically tells him we’re in this together so if that’s the case they will die together. Good luck with that Jon Snow.

Bran is still being led north to the Wall by Jojen. Jojen says they need to go north of the Wall to find the three-eyed raven Bran keeps seeing. Osha is upset because she wants to take Bran to Castle Black and to Jon Snow. Osha is also wary of the White Walkers. Why isn’t anyone else concerned about ZOMBIES? They are due to make a strong and scary reappearance soon.

In King’s Landing Sansa is having a meltdown about having to marry Tyrion and Margaery is there to comfort her. She says Tyrion is “far from the worst Lannister.” Good point Margaery because he is my favorite Lannister. Your fiance Margaery is the worst Lannister. Ugh. Sansa then worries about having to sleep with Tyrion and Margaery again reassures her the she may enjoy his…experience.

Tyrion is discussing this new arrangement with Bronn. Bronn doesn’t see a problem with having to marry Sansa and keeping Shae around as well. Of course he wouldn’t. On the other hand Shae is furious. What will she do when he marries Sansa? Interesting position the men of Westeros are in. Tyrion, Robb, and Jon all having to choose love or duty. Or if you are Dany, you choose both and says screw you with a dragon burn to the face to anyone who says otherwise.

In the throne room Tywin meets with Joffrey who is sitting on the Iron Throne. Joffrey doesn’t like that he doesn’t know what the Small Council is doing and also that the meetings have been moved to the Hand of the King’s tower. He then asks Tywin about Dany and the dragons she has and Tywin says it’s nothing to be concerned about. Uh oh. Be careful there.

Speaking of Dany, she is now outside another city called Yunkai. The emissary comes to meet Dany and offer her a gift. The gift is a chest of gold and a fleet of ships and in turn she just leaves them alone. Dany’s counter offer is that he release every slave in the city and give them land and food and she will spare his life. Harsh Dany.

Oh Theon is still alive? Two servant girls take him off the cross and try seducing him. Theon knows this is a set-up but who can resist two naked girls? Then the mystery boy comes in again interrupting the activities. He says he knows Theon’s manhood is his most prized possession and takes a knife in hand saying he wants to “make a few alterations”. Theon tries weakly to get away screaming. Are they really going to mutilate him?! The torture doesn’t end for the poor Greyjoy.

Arya is still upset that the Brotherhood without Banners sold Gendry to the red lady. In fact, she is furious, so when the group goes to hunt some Lannisters instead of taking her to Riverrun, she takes off. She runs into the forest and runs right into the Hound. Oh no! He does not like her very much since she tried to have him killed.

At Harrenhal Jamie is finally being released to go to King’s Landing but has to leave Brienne behind. It’s unsettling for both of them and you can tell Jamie clearly wants her with him. Brienne says if he promises to reunite the Stark women with their mother, his debt will be paid. He promises to do so and then leaves. Later on the men transporting Jamie reveal that Brienne’s father offered ransom money and it was rejected because of his earlier lie about the island having a ton of sapphires. His plan to save her backfired twice now. So he goes back to Hareenhal to rescue her and finds her in a pit with a grizzly bear and she is only armed with a wooden sword. Brienne has already been scratched a few times by the bear and is bleeding in her dress. So of course Jamie does the only sensible thing. He jumps down into the pit with her. He rescues her from the bear and he gets out of the pit just before getting almost eaten. Geez.

Game of Thrones- And Now His Watch Is Ended- Season 3 Episode 4

The burning of the city

The burning of Astapor

Ohhhhh that’s her plan. Good show Dany. Poor Jamie. What is happening with Bran!

Jamie’s hand is now hanging around his neck as a harsh reminder of what his father cannot protect him from. Gross and rude. Jamie is begging for water and Locke gets him to drink horse urine. So mean. I love that I am actually now feeling bad for Jamie Lannister. What is happening to me?! Jamie grabs a sword but cannot fight left-handed and is beat to the ground and his face is pushed into the mud. Ugh, the feels! It’s a Lannister! Don’t care so much. But I do. I feel bad for the Kingslayer.

In Bran’s storyline he is still with the boy Jojen and dreaming of the three-eyed crow. Can’t wait to see this story line play out. Also took me this whole episode to remember that Jojen is the little boy from Love Actually. Awww. Adorable. But back to Westeros.

In King’s Landing Varys is meeting with Tyrion and delivers him a crate. He is telling Tyrion the story of how he became…lacking downstairs. He was drugged by a man who then cut off his manhood and burned it in a dark magic ceremony. Creepy. So Varys despises “magic and all those who practice it.” The crate is finally opened and inside it is the wizard who mutilated Varys with his mouth sewn shut.

Back to the Night’s Watch. The men hate working at Craster’s. And they should. He sucks. They need to just get out of there. Samwell is talking to Gilly and bothering her about the name of her baby. Sam is kind of annoying. I’m waiting for him to surprise us all and be a great hero.

Varys is speaking with Ros and has been informed that Littlefinger’s ship has two feather beds in it for his trip to the Eyrie. The assumption is he is trying to sneak Sansa away with him. Gross. So he can’t have the mom, go for the daughter? I guess that’s a thing in Westeros.

Ugh, more Joffrey. He is walking with Margaery telling her the history of King’s Landing in the Sept of Baelor, where their wedding is going to take place. Margaery is so gifted at playing the young king, but I guess he’s not that difficult to figure out. She convinces him to go outside and acknowledge the crowd. The crowd is shouting for Margaery but she tells him it’s really all for him so they go outside to greet the people.

Mystery boy is now leading Theon Greyjoy to his sister through some tunnels. He says Theon’s dad knew what was happening ti him this whole time. Theon is reflecting on his decisions from past episodes and then says “my real father lost his head at King’s Landing…I made a choice, and I chose wrong, and now I’ve burned everything down.” Awwww, but I still don’t like you Theon. You had a good thing going for you, I think they call this karma. The man now leads Theon back into the dungeon. Whaaaa? Other men put Theon back on the cross. What was that all about? Who is this guy?

At camp we return to Jamie Lannister. He is dying and not eating. Brienne is trying to get him to snap out of it. They fight because Brienne is calling him a wuss and to get over himself and the loss of his hand. Basically Jamie needs to man up. So he finally eats. She then asks why Jamie told that story about her family being wealthy since it isn’t true in order to save her. Why is he helping? Feelings for someone that’s not his sister? Interesting.

Cersei is now in Tywin’s office asking if he is doing everything possible to get Jamie back. He shoots her down and then gives Cersei an opportunity to prove she isn’t worthless to him. Then he delivers this beauty “I don’t distrust you because you’re a woman, I distrust you because you’re not as smart as you think”.

Lady Olenna and Varys are chatting about Littlefinger and his attachment to Sansa. They form a plan and Margaery finds Sansa to put it into action. She mentions to Sansa she likes her very much and would love to become sisters with her. The best way to that? Why marry her brother Loras of course and then they can be sisters. Oh Sansa, what will we do with you. She is so happy about it and can’t wait to marry Sir Loras. Oh boy.

At Craster’s again the Night’s Watch are burning a corpse of one of the men who didn’t get enough food. Craster tells the Lord Commander to kill all the wounded men and it makes the men rightfully angry. Craster is awful. The men start arguing with Craster and then things go crazy. Craster is killed (WOOO!! Finally!) but so is the Lord Commander. Sam grabs Gilly and they get out of there as fast as tubby Sam can go.

Arya! She is still with the Brotherhood without Banners in their hideout and their prisoner, The Hound. The leader of the crew is Beric Dondarrion who is looking for The Mountain (The Hound’s brother. Solid nicknames guys). Beric is also a fan of the Lord of the Light just like that red head, Melisandre. Arya tells them The Hound murdered the butcher’s boy and so The Hound will go to trial by combat.

Dany is still in Astapor. Remember, she traded one of her dragons for those slave soldiers? Let’s watch that play out. Dany is in the center of the square with all of her Unsullied, slave masters, and Kraznys waiting around. Kraznys is talking but Dany isn’t really listening. She opens a basket and one of her dragons is on a chain leash which Kraznys takes from her in exchange for the whip that gives her control of the slaves. She asks if the deal is done and Kraznys insults her in Valyrian. She walks down the steps and overhead the dragon is screeching. Dany then looks to her Unsullied and starts to speak to them…in Valyrian. Ohhh what?! Dany orders the Unsullied to do certain things and then the magic happens. Dany turns and starts berating Kraznys in Valyrian. She then tells the Unsullied to kill all slave masters but not harm any of the children. Kraznys is outraged and tells the guards to kill Dany and then you know what happens? DANY HAS THE DRAGON SET KRAZNYS ON FIRE! The city is now burning and Dany turns to the Unsullied and tell them they are free men now. They can join her if they want, but they will never be slaves again. They all follow her as she marches triumphantly away from the burning city. Hell yeah.

Game of Thrones- Walk of Punishment – Season 3 Episode 3

Jamie Lannister

 

Holy cow what just happened in this episode? Did anyone see that coming?! The whole episode, while it was a good one, was a lot of building again, much like the first episode, and then WHAM! Hello ending. And that’s really how it ended. When the song started and the credits rolled was anyone else going “whaaaaaa?!”. Poor Jamie. What a ride he went through.

But let’s start at the beginning. We are at Riverrun for the funeral of Lady Catelyn’s father. They send his body off in a boat and then try to light it on fire by shooting an arrow at the boat. Edmure, Catelyn’s brother, misses three times. Guess it would be too easy to light the fire before pushing the boat from shore? Clearly that’s not the Tully way. Instead let’s embarrass old Edmure until Uncle Brynden saves the day and fires the shot. He doesn’t even have to look to know it’s landing in the boat. Bad-Ass Blackfish man. Later Edmure suffers further embarrassment, this time at the hand of Robb, who is scolding him for not obeying orders. His attack on “The Mountain” left over 200 northerners dead and Robb’s plan for beating the Lannisters in shambles.

In King’s Landing, the Hand of the King, Tywin wastes no time exerting his dominance over everyone else. He has clearly called a meeting and every chair is lined up on the left side of the table except his own, which is at the head. The three henchmen, Varys, Littlefinger, and Pycelle take their seats at the left side. Cersei is not having it. She picks up a chair and brings it to the right side of the table next to her father. What an attitude. This next part is why I love Tyrion. He grabs the remaining chair on the left and drags it (yes, the chair is much larger than the dwarf), squeaky awkward sounds and all (to which it seems Tyrion thoroughly enjoyed this part), to the opposite head of the table directly across from his father. Boom, equals. Now to get down to business. Littlefinger wants to wed Catelyn’s sister Lysa in order to steal more support away from the Starks and gain more titles for himself as Lord of the Vale. Tyrion points out that Littlefinger cannot go because he is in charge of the crown’s finances and needs to be around Kingslanding to handle such matters. Tywin instead passes the job of Master of Coin to Tyrion in the most smug way possible and Cersei couldn’t be more happy.

Jamie Lannister and Brienne are now tied up and traveling with their captors. Jamie is still sulking over the fact he was beat by Brienne in their sword battle last episode. Their banter is funny and almost charming, maybe they could be friends if there wasn’t all this murder and threat of death and rape in the way. It even seems like he is looking out for her in a way when he informs her she is going to be raped by these men and she should just close her eyes and “pretend they’re Renly” to avoid being beaten to death.

Arya and her merrymen are now the “guests” of Thoros. The Hound, on the other hand, seems to be his prisoner. As they are leaving whatever tavern they were at Hot Pie declares he is staying and gives Arya some bread he made in the shape of a wolf. How sweet.

Back on the other side of the Wall, Mance orders the Wildlings and Jon Snow to climb over the Wall and attack Castle Black. This order, is of course after finding the mangled remains of some horses once owned by the Night’s Watch. What will Snow do? How are they so easily going to climb this giant wall?

Oh remember Theon Greyjoy getting tortured? Well the mysterious boy comes back and frees him, telling him to ride east because his sister is waiting for him. Well on Theon’s ride, his once captors chase him down and knock him off his horse. It looks like he is going to be taken in the most unpleasant of ways when all of the sudden the boy comes back, shoots an arrow through each of the men about to rape Theon and save him yet again. Who is this guy?

In Dragonstone Melisandre is leaving Stannis. He is not happy and wants to have another weird smoky demon baby with her but she says he is not strong enough and trying again will kill him. She then tells him there is another way to get the blood of the true king to have another child. How is this happening? Who knows, but Stannis does not look pleased.

Dany is still in Astapor considering buying the slave army. She decides to buy all 8,000 slave men for her army. The slave master scoffs at her and says she does not have the money to buy all of them. Of course his translator is much nicer than him when informing Dany of her inadequate funds. Then the unthinkable. Dany offers a dragon in exchange for all the men and the female translator. She only has 3 and she’s now giving them away?! Her advisors think this is ridiculous and tell her it’s a bad idea. She looks at them and continues with the deal. Apparently she knows what she’s doing. I’m glad someone does.

Back at King’s Landing Tyrion is collecting the financial ledgers from Littlefinger, which were of course hidden in the brothel. Then as a thank you gift for saving his life, Tyrion buys 3 of the prostitutes for his squire Poderick. Later on Poderick returns with the money Tyrion spent on the whores saying they had such a good time with him they refused to take his money. Tyrion and Bronn are flabbergasted and want all the details. Gross.

Again back to Jamie and Brienne. She did not take Jamie’s advice when it came to the men taking advantage of her because she has decided to fight back. Jamie, in an attempt to save her, let’s the captors know she is from the Sapphire Isle, and her father would pay more than his weight in sapphires if Brienne were to be returned to him unsullied. It apparently works and Brienne is released and tied back up against the tree but not getting raped so that’s a plus. Jamie continues trying to play Locke, the leader of these men, and get Locke to release him as well by saying his father will pay in gold for his return as well. He then asks to be taken down from the tree as he wants to lie on his back to sleep instead of in the uncomfortable position he is in now. Locke releases him from the tree and even asks if he would like something better for dinner. he throws Jamie down on a table and says “you’re nothing without your daddy and your daddy ain’t here” and brings the knife down on the table. Jamie screams. HE JUST CHOPPED OFF JAMIE LANNISTER’S HAND!!!! That just happened. Then the credits roll. WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED?!

See you next week GoT. Wow.

Game of Thrones- Valar Dohaeris- Season 3 Episode 1

Dany

After what seemed like months and months of torture, the fight for the Iron Throne returned on Sunday night with the premiere of season 3 of Game of Thrones. I was beyond excited when the episode finally came out. The build up was so enormous. Was anyone else a little underwhelmed with what we were given? Granted, this episode was clearly setting the stage for what was to come but since I had been waiting for so long I was yearning for more action.

Yet the episode was wonderfully put together and gave the audience the taste of Westeros we had all been aching for. This episode was less about the physical battle and more internal and within various relationships in the kingdom.

Open on Sam running for his life in the snow. Poor guy is running as fast as he can away from the grasp of the White Walkers. He sees a man sitting in the distance, and as he draws closer he finds the man dead and grasping his own head. Gross. A minute in and it’s bloody already. Got to love HBO. Here comes the Walker Sam was presumably running from when a dire wolf comes and jumps on the beast. Seriously I really need a dire wolf. Then the rest of the Night’s Watch comes and sets the White Walker on fire. Sam gets scolded for not sending out a raven. Although, who wants to put Sam in charge of important things like that? The boy can barely remember his own name.

Credits appear again, Winterfell is on fire in the credits because of last year’s finale. And a new city is added. I love the little intricacies. Now focus on Jon Snow. Poor Snow, always mixed up where he shouldn’t be. He is still being held by the Wildlings just getting abused. Do you think he will be breaking the Night’s Watch vows to be with Ygritte, the Wildling woman who seems super into him in a pull-your-pigtails-3rd-grade-love type of way? Only time will tell (or the book, but who knows where deviations and such will come in!) In Mance’s tent Jon is asked why he wants to defect and be a part of the Wildlings. His first answer is shot down by Mance, but then he tells the Wildlings about how much he hates the agreement the Lord Commander has with that awful Craster and how much he wants to fight the White Walkers. This answer comes across much better and Jon is safe.

Returning to King’s Landing Tyrion awakes and is checking out his battle scars. The Queen comes into his room assuring Tyrion that she doesn’t want to kill him. Oh the bond between siblings is a powerful thing. I always need to preface to my family that I don’t want to murder them before entering a room. The conversation between the two is tense. Finally Cersei gets to the reason she came and asks Tyrion why he wants to see their father. Tyrion says he wants to visit him since his father did not see him once during his recovery. Cersei is sure he wants to spill the beans on what awful things she has done (namely trying to kill him, incest, trying to kill the king, getting the previous hand of the king killed, you know, the usual stuff). Then she finally leaves and Tyrion walks off with his bodyguard who is now demanding more money to protect him.

Would you be holding your mom prisoner? Robb Stark still is for letting Jamie Lannister go. When they get to Harrenhal they find 200 more dead Northerners strewn about the place. It’s a gruesome site. There is one survivor who is quickly tended to. The awkwardness of the mom/prisoner situation shows on Robb’s face and the rush to find Jamie Lannister is even more imperative now.

Ahh Tyrion has finally found his father, who is now Hand of the King. Tyrion expresses his sadness about his father not visiting him to which Tywin says in the most nonchalant way possible that he knew the wounds were not fatal and therefore did not see a point. Tyrion then gets down to the heart of the matter, he wants Casterly Rock. Tywin is an awful man. I mean his disdain for Tyrion is so outright rude and terrible and Charles Dance portrays it brilliantly. He rejects Tyrion’s request so brutally and Tyrion turns his back on his father and leaves. Wow, I’m really feeling the Lannister love in this episode.

Oh look Sansa is still here. SHe is hanging out with her fake handmaiden Shae. Then Littlefinger comes over and tells her he is working on getting her out of King’s Landing. His servant warns Shae to be careful about Littlefinger and what he is doing for Sansa. Duh.

Oh look Dany, the dragons, and the Dothraki are on a ship on their way to Astapor. The Dothraki are vomiting everywhere and just all around miserable from being on the sea. Aww they don’t seem so tough now. The dragons are much bigger but Dany says they aren’t growing fast enough. They are on their way to get an army.

Aww man, I was hoping to get out of this episode without seeing Joffrey. But let’s be real, we all love hating him so it’s almost nice to see him as well. His betrothed Margaery stops the carriages they are in to meet with some orphans. Cersei is not pleased and does little to hide this fact. Joffrey also seems to be getting impatient with his mother and they exchange quick remarks. But really, do any of the Lannisters like each other? Guess we will have to wait for the Cersei-Jamie reunion to know for sure.

Seems like Dany has found her army. It is an army of slaves from a man named Krazny who clearly has no respect for Dany. His subtitles are rude but his translator softens each blow as she speaks with Dany. Death means nothing to them. Then Krazny shows the evidence of this when he chops off one of the army men’s nipples. Eww gross. That just happened. Dany is taken by a little girl who seemingly wants to play with her. The girl rolls her a ball and a scorpion pops out. She is saved by Ser Barristan Selmy. Interesting.

Hmm..that’s the end of the episode. What did you think? Can it keep the momentum of the past two seasons going? Are you excited for what’s to come in season 3?

Game of Thrones- The Kingsroad- Season 1 Episode 2

GoTs1e2

Poor Daenerys (aka Dany), sold into wedlock by her brother to a beast of a man. Khal Drogo only seems to be interested in using her as a sex doll and she cannot stop him. Thankfully she has Jorah Mormont traveling with the Dothraki to talk with and start somewhat of a friendship with.

So thank the heavens we find out Bran is still alive, just in a coma. Lady Catelyn has been by his bedside day and night praying for his recovery. Even Cersei (the Queen) comes in to say she is sorry for what happens and shares a story of her dealings with loss. What sneaky, tricky woman coming to give her blessings to the boy she tried to kill. And if you haven’t started to hate Joffrey or love Tyrion yet here is more of a reason to do so. Tyrion wakes up hungover in an animal pen to see Joffrey standing over him. Tyrion tells Joffrey to give his condolences to the Starks for the incident with Bran. Joffrey talks back and the greatest moment in television history happens, Tyrion smacks Joffrey. Yes I replayed that a few times. Still can’t get enough of it! Tyrion then goes inside to see his siblings having breakfast and in his conversation with them it seems he knows more then he is letting on about what may have happened to Bran. What does he know? How does he know it? Tyrion is more clever than he seems at times.

Switching over to Jon Snow’s story line, he is determined to become a member of the Night’s Watch. He is leaving with his Uncle to go to the Wall. Snow, who seems to be a loving and kind brother, even though he is a bastard child, goes into Arya’s room while she is packing to give her a gift. The gift is a sword, which Arya names Needle as a poke to the traditional needle and thread a woman her age should have in hand. His bright and shining moment is the tip he gives her as he hugs her goodbye “Stick them with the pointy end.” Thanks dear brother. Snow then goes over to say his farewell to Bran, who is still in a coma, and Lady Catelyn seems less than pleased to see him. In fact, I think ordering him to get out was good proof of her disdain for Ned’s bastard son.

Now everyone is leaving Winterfell; a group is heading for the Wall and another back to King’s Landing. Ned and Snow share their goodbyes and the parties head off in their opposite directions. The King and Ned later are stopped to eat and again talking about the Targaryens. Robert’s hatred for them burns deep and he wants to kill Dany as a wedding gift but level-headed Ned shuts down the idea.

Later that night at Winterfell, outside Bran’s direwolf Summer is complaining and howling nonstop. A fire breaks out and Robb Stark, who is in the room with his mother leaves to go check it out. When Catelyn turns to go, an assassin comes into Bran’s room and fight breaks loose. Catelyn is knocked to the ground after trying to grab the knife WITH HER BARE HANDS and the assassin is headed for Bran. Summer comes leaping in and heads straight for the assassin’s jugular. Then after ripping out the murderer’s throat casually goes and lays down next to Bran, snout all covered in blood. No big deal. I definitely need a dire wolf, not that I’m planning on having anyone come after me in the night, still must be a nice safety net.

Back to Dany and the Dothraki. She is getting a mani-pedi from her slaves and asking about dragons and the Dothraki. After speaking with one of her hand maidends (or slaves, whatever you wish to call them) for a time, she learns this girl basically used to be a prostitute and asks if she can teach Dany how “to make the Khal happy”. And so the teaching of some girl on top action begins. Later on when the Khal returns to the tent, Dany tried out her newly found skills in the bedroom and both parties seem happy. Mission accomplished.

The King’s party is still heading to King’s Landing on the Kingsroad (say that five times fast) and Joffrey and Sansa go for a walk together. They see Arya and Mycah (the butcher’s boy) play sword fighting on the river bank. Joffrey decides to be himself and be a total jerk to Mycah and cuts his cheek with a sword. Well this doesn’t sit well with Arya who grabs a branch and hits Joffrey with it. Joffrey hits Arya bringing her to the ground and then Arya’s dire wolf Nymeria bites Joffrey’s arm and he cries like the little baby he is. Arya grabs his sword and as Joffrey squeals and begs she heaves his sword into the river. Sweet. Of course the useless Sansa does nothing but scream at Arya during this whole ordeal. Way to go sis.

Arya insists Nymeria has to run away, which is one of the saddest things I’ve seen, and she goes running into the forest. Arya is then taken in front of the King and Queen to be punished for attacking Joffrey. The Queen claims Arya and Mycah beat Joffrey with sticks and let the wolf attack him. Sansa is asked what really happened and all she can manage to see is “I don’t remember”. Like I said, useless. The end result of this is the wolf is sentenced to death, but since Nymeria has run off, Sansa’s wolf Lady is on the chopping block thanks to Queen Cersei. Ned volunteers to slay the dire wolf since it is a beast of the north and deserves a better death than any a butcher can give to her. Ugh, this breaks my heart. Stop getting rid of the wolves!

Cut to Bran, he opens his eyes! Roll credits. Roll episode 3 please.

School of Thrones

So yes, we still have a few weeks until the premiere of Game of Thrones. But in the mean time check out this little gem made by some famous youtubers of the world that has been cruising around the internet since Monday. GoT set in high school. Yes that’s right. The drama of the seven kingdoms set inside the prison walls of a high school. Episodes will come out weekly. I enjoy the hipster vibe from the Starks. I’m waiting for Arya to make her appearance and more Tyrion! And is that the guy from “A Very Potter Musical”?!

Prom is coming. What do you guys think? Will you be watching while you wait on HBO to take us back to Westeros? Could this be the teen angsty drama we have been waiting for? Will Jon Snow ever be accepted at school? Who will be crowned Prom King? What’s up with Dany’s wig?

Game of Thrones – Winter is Coming – Season 1 Episode 1

Jon and Bran

Watching this episode was like watching the book come to life. The opening sequence played out just like reading the prologue. Thank you David Benioff. Three men of the Night’s Watch are on patrol. One of the men stumbles upon a clearing full of dismembered bodies. The men continue on and two of them end up being slaughtered by what we will learn are the White Walkers. The surviving member of this patrol unit runs into a kingdom known as Winterfell to share the story of the slaughter. He warns of the attack by the White Walkers and is then beheaded for being a deserter.

The lord issuing the beheading is called Eddard Stark (played by Sean Bean). He rules over Winterfell with his wife Catelyn and six children; Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon, and his bastard child Jon Snow. Eddard (also known as Ned) takes his sons to witness the execution of this man showing the children the importance of duty and honor to the land even when it is hard. After the Ned’s lesson in duty, the family heads back and find a dead stag on the road. Farther down the road they encounter a dead dire wolf and its pups. Jon Snow says it is a sign since the dire wolf is the symbol of the Stark household. They find enough pups for each child to have one and Jon Snow receives the runt of the litter and the only white wolf pup.

Once the Starks get home Ned and Catelyn receive word from her sister that the King’s advisor has died. The sister suspects murder. At the same time they find the King is on his way to Winterfell with his entire entourage. Once the King arrives he asks Ned to take over as advisor (the King’s Hand). Ned is conflicted because he doesn’t want to leave his northern kingdom of Winterfell, especially for a position where the last man may have been murdered, but he also wants to help his good friend King Robert. As he grapples with this decision we are introduced to Cersei Lannister, the Queen of the seven kingdoms, played by the amazing Lena Headey. She has two brothers, her twin Jamie, and her dwarf brother Tyrion. The Lannisters are the richest family in the  kingdom and ‘a Lannister always pays their debts’ be it money or otherwise so this family seems to be a force to be reckoned with.

Next we travel across the narrow see to the city of Pentos where we meet Viserys and Daenerys Targaryen. Viserys, we learn, is determined to reclaim the iron throne from Robert Baratheon. He seems to be viscious and manipulative and his sister is just along for the ride. He nonchalantly marries her off to the intimidating Khal Drogo for use of his sizeable army in the upcoming war. Daenerys is clearly a pawn in his game so far as her only wish is to go home but she is instead bound to this man who doesn’t even speak her language. Good luck there

The episode ends in a most dramatic fashion. Bran Stark, we learn is a bit of a mischievous climber (who isn’t at age 10). He is climbing the towers of the Stark household when he happens upon an incestuous relationship between Cersei and her twin brother Jamie. Yes, the twins were doing it. Cersei is concerned since Bran has seen them together and Jamie tosses Bran out the window with a simple ‘the things I do for love’. Yup that’s how the episode ends! Did Bran just fall to his death because these siblings couldn’t keep their hands off each other?! What a way to hook the audience. I need episode 2!

Winter is Coming

Game-of-Thrones

Winter is coming! Season 3 of Game of Thrones is nearly upon us. Easter celebrations will mark the morning for some but come the evening of March 31st, everyone will be well prepared with popcorn and snacks sitting in their own iron thrones eagerly awaiting the return of favorites like Arya, Jon, Robb, and Tyrion and villains who make your stomach churn (the Lannister clan anyone?).  So for anyone not caught up, you will find the recaps of seasons 1 and 2 here at Spoiler Alert. We will also be recapping season 3 as it airs live. For those of you that haven’t read the books I’ll keep the comparisons to a minimum during the recaps and summaries. For those of you that have read the books, I’ll compare and contrast at the end of each season. Enjoy!